Election Day...One last thought.

If you voted for Obama and you are a college kid tonight I hope you enjoy being unemployed and living with your parents. Those among you with kids have doomed them to less opportunity and to have to shoulder the debt you have wrought on your country by choosing the path of wreckless indifference and personal greed. I hope you enjoy higher gas prices, food prices, and far less freedom. I hope you understand why you will have less choices for medical care and why that quality of care will be diminished. You will have to watch as your children wait in line behind iresponsible people and those that dont pay into our system before they get what you work hard to provide them. You will have to watch as your elderly parents cant get medicare, and more importantly, cant find a doctor willing to take it. If you depend on someone in your family in the medical field get ready to live on far less. If you are Jewish, get ready to see the consequences of ... treating politics as a team sport. Gone are the days when Jews (or anyone else) could aspire to the medical profession and expect to earn a living consumate with the effort they put into achieving. If you are graduating college I wouldnt pack up your room. In short as our nation continues to suffer from a "leader" who apologizes to our enemies, makes us out to be the problem, and thinks the only path to sucess is to take from the workers and give to the dregs I earnestly hope you are keenly aware of your part in this. Whatever you do do not come to me for help when the above befalls you, I will be doing my best to avoid this monstrosity of a govt you have helped to wrought upon your fellow countrymen and this offense goes far beyond " I told you so". We are not simply in disagreement on an issue we are on fundamentaly different planes of reality. I hope you are in a union because you just voted to pay more taxes so the annointed few can retire early and get better pay and benefts than you. You helped support a candidate whos stratregy was to empower all the pople in society who drag it down including the people who are here illegally. You have devalued your vote, your citizenship, and your own currency. You have betrayed the fundamental principles this country was founded on to play "elitist liberal roulette" with our futures and get some temporary goodies from the govt on the backs of your kids. I have no respect for you. I have no sympathy for you. You are beneath contempt. You are traitors to your country and selfish elitist swine. May the next four years be as miserable for you as it will be for those you have wrought this disaster on.

Hope for myself

I feel like I'm trapped in this world where I am so confused about everything.
I'm not sure what my purpose is quite yet... Its killing me inside, ha.

Everything I want seems so out of reach. I have NO idea where to start. I feel so old right now. Is that crazy? Because I'm only 20? I'll be 21 on July 19th this year, and I STILL don't know what I want to do in my life. I know tons of kids go through this same shit, but it's driving me absolutely fucking crazy right now that I am wasting my life smoking weed everyday, sitting in my house alone for hours at a time, sleeping in past noon everyday, partying a couple days a week, working maybe once a week at my shitty retail job (not working at ALL my makeup job which pisses me off), living at my parents house, having no opportunities with friends or anything to get away or move, having to pay for a student loan already which I am not even doing what I was trained, losing faith in myself every fucking day, having broke friends, putting myself down or having others drain me of my confidence more and more everyday.

I DON'T FEEL PRETTY.
I DO NOT.

My fantasy dream of modeling seems so far out of reach too :/ two more years and I will probably not be able to get into that ever.

My sisters and I rarely talk I feel. No one supports me.

Paying bills suck ass. Especially when you barely work enough to pay them.
Like... How the hell am I supposed to start fresh somewhere else?

I have ALL this stupid petty shit dragging me down and I don't know how to go about things anymore. I'm lost, and I'm sure as hell not getting any younger.

At least I have hopes and dreams of happiness and steady nice paychecks and a family and nice house and fucking EVERYTHING.

I just don't see anything happening for me right now.
I need a pick-me-up.
I don't want to rely on ANYONE to make me happy either. I want to master how to create my own happiness.

I feel like running away..

I wish my parents would have educated me on college while I was in high school. I wish I had done better in high school...

I could be partying at a fucking pool party right now like Robby getting fucking hammered with hot attractive people not giving a shit about life today but NO. I have to be sitting here in an old 20 year old smelly sweatshirt and ugly sweatpants freezing my ass off in my cold ass Minnesota BASEMENT. Oh and add complaining about everything in life to that too. I hate being a complainer.

Especially when it has to do with my life...

Life is SHORT.

Literally..
I have been thinking a lot about how I am going to be 21 this year.
Part of me does not want to age. Age is only a number but..

Still...

I have only so much time while i'm young. I won't be able to get away with much
when im 25...or 32...45....69...80??
(Nah, i'll be dead by 80.)

I need to explore life more...
I'm so caught up in having structure.
Sure its important, but is it really necessary to have completed college by 23..?
Or be married by 25?
Know what my future is right now. Ha...

I will never know, i swear.

Does it really matter what people think of me?
I only have this life to look forward..
I don't know if there will be a second chance for anything.
I'm tired of regretting..

I should just do what i want and Stfu?

I think so.
<3