I have been since the summer has ended.
I don't know what i am doing wrong.
Living Situation
Transportation
Family Life
Love Life
Career
Health
Fun
Excitement
Peace
Travel
Money
Mind-set
Personal Style
Schooling
Freedom
These are all necessary things that are result in prime happiness to me. If i don't feel i have a 9/10 in greatness/satisfactory or above in these areas, i am not completely happy with my life. That i can not control how my brain works, and i really have to do my best to strive for these results. I feel like i am so technical typing all of this, and maybe seeming a bit... I don't know, (not selfish) but needy. It's just not enough. And don't get me wrong i have nothing to complain about.. I don't need anymore material things. I could give two shits about technology or cell phones.. It's just.... :/ My mind is not to its full extent in happiness how else can i explain it! Don't you ever feel lost in yourself? Or lost in the world? I had to delete my Facebook because of the annoyance and stress i was feeling from it. I feel my life is boring sometimes...
Maybe it is the cold weather of Minnesota hitting me with emotions this time.. I do not have seasonal depression or whatnot, but i feel i can not be happy without knowing the world is at peace. I feel like the physical world is not doing so hot either. Maybe i worry too much? Am i going delusional slowly with the psychedelics i occasionally take? I thought it was supposed to broaden and expand your horizon of life? It has for me, yes. But maybe that is creeping back upon me and the fears i had during middle school of the world ending is effecting me without true realization.
I have to shop and spend money to create some sort of numb happiness to prevent boredom in my life, even though half the things i buy i regret.
(Physical things and money may not bring you complete happiness, but it can certainly make things easier and less painless.)
I suppose everyone should shoot for that goal of becoming successful in life, why wouldn't you? You don't have to feel selfish for working hard, but you must make good use out of that fortune.. Some may never be that lucky, but you can always say you tried and that SHOULD bring you some satisfaction.
I don't know if it is completely normal for everyone my age (twenty one) to feel this way. I have talked to many before and they too have felt lost and alone for periods of time however... Why is it that we allow ourselves to feel this way??
We want completely opposite. We try and try everyday, but maybe not hard enough.
I know for a fact i do not try hard enough at most things because i settle for "Ok" (I'm like my mother) I know i can, but i haven't reached that mind-set yet where i cannot say no or just "ok".
I think i need to step it up... in every one of those categories.
-Confused but determined soul.
Living Situation
Transportation
Family Life
Love Life
Career
Health
Fun
Excitement
Peace
Travel
Money
Mind-set
Personal Style
Schooling
Freedom
These are all necessary things that are result in prime happiness to me. If i don't feel i have a 9/10 in greatness/satisfactory or above in these areas, i am not completely happy with my life. That i can not control how my brain works, and i really have to do my best to strive for these results. I feel like i am so technical typing all of this, and maybe seeming a bit... I don't know, (not selfish) but needy. It's just not enough. And don't get me wrong i have nothing to complain about.. I don't need anymore material things. I could give two shits about technology or cell phones.. It's just.... :/ My mind is not to its full extent in happiness how else can i explain it! Don't you ever feel lost in yourself? Or lost in the world? I had to delete my Facebook because of the annoyance and stress i was feeling from it. I feel my life is boring sometimes...
Maybe it is the cold weather of Minnesota hitting me with emotions this time.. I do not have seasonal depression or whatnot, but i feel i can not be happy without knowing the world is at peace. I feel like the physical world is not doing so hot either. Maybe i worry too much? Am i going delusional slowly with the psychedelics i occasionally take? I thought it was supposed to broaden and expand your horizon of life? It has for me, yes. But maybe that is creeping back upon me and the fears i had during middle school of the world ending is effecting me without true realization.
I have to shop and spend money to create some sort of numb happiness to prevent boredom in my life, even though half the things i buy i regret.
(Physical things and money may not bring you complete happiness, but it can certainly make things easier and less painless.)
I suppose everyone should shoot for that goal of becoming successful in life, why wouldn't you? You don't have to feel selfish for working hard, but you must make good use out of that fortune.. Some may never be that lucky, but you can always say you tried and that SHOULD bring you some satisfaction.
I don't know if it is completely normal for everyone my age (twenty one) to feel this way. I have talked to many before and they too have felt lost and alone for periods of time however... Why is it that we allow ourselves to feel this way??
We want completely opposite. We try and try everyday, but maybe not hard enough.
I know for a fact i do not try hard enough at most things because i settle for "Ok" (I'm like my mother) I know i can, but i haven't reached that mind-set yet where i cannot say no or just "ok".
I think i need to step it up... in every one of those categories.
-Confused but determined soul.
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